Unfortunately, my parents are two evil creatures who can only survive off of my misery and therefore refuse to extend my ticket and are making me come home as schedule in June.  Because of this unfortunate truth, I made a promise to myself that I am going to make the rest of my stay even more adventurous than it’s already been.  So far it’s working.

I’m honestly very sick of the bar scene in Buenos Aires and I absolutely REFUSE to step foot in a Boliche (Argentine word for a club) because I do not enjoy have to run for life away from Aggressive Argentines keen on attempting to suck my virginity out of my mouth.  I’m not exaggerating.  Last night I willingly went to a Boliche (Phoebe and Kaarin were very surprised at my enthusiasm) and right as I was about to escape the crowds of hyper-sexual Argentines and their lethal pelvises, one of them dragged me across the dance floor by my hair.  No.  NO.  NO LO QUIERO PARA NADA.  

To avoid any more of these types of horrific ordeals, I’ve been going to more concerts and embarking on more cultural and artistic adventures.  Around two weeks ago, Arielle, Phoebe and I went to a concert to see some guy who Arielle refers to as Elvis play live in his band, Imodium. Yes, Imodium like the diarrhea medication.  Turns out that there is a WORLD of diarrhea jokes waiting to be made.  We got there and there was a huge line and I said, “Yo dawg, if I have to pay more than $5 USD to see a show, I’m gonna bounce.”  We went to the ticket counter and told them that “we were on a list” and they didn’t even ask for our name and let us in for free.  God, I love this country.   

This venue had one of the highest concentration of hipsters I’ve ever seen, and I go to Emerson where everyone tries so hard to be hipster it makes me want to vomit all over their baggy shirts and giant glasses.  Okay, now that I’ve gotten that bundled up rage out of my system and onto cyber space for all to read, I need to explain how hilarious the guitarist of the opening band was.  I thought they were good and they had a muy buena onda, but the guitarist kept making the most hilarious “Jizz In My Pants” worthy faces ever.  I think Arielle and I were the only two people who were nearly dying from laughter, everyone else was like, “Oh, yes, so artistic, more faces please!”

Phoebe putting her paparazzi skills to use and attempting to capture the Jizz face:
 

Elvis’s band was awful.  They were really hard rock and they were singing in English and we ended up leaving in the middle of their set.  We should’ve known seeing as how they share the same name with diarrhea medication.  

Later on in the week Emma, Kaarin, Phoebe, and I went to this Latin music night in Barrio Once with our friend Charlie.  The band played a lot of Salsa-esque music and it was cool to get out of Recoleta and Palermo for a bit and see what was up in a barrio we don’t spend a lot of time in (Cristina, my host-mom is convinced that this barrio is extremely sketchy.  Whatever, small details).  

 

In case you didn’t know, I’m obsessed with food.  Nothing makes me happier than feasting on steak or trying new types of cuisine.  Emma, Arielle, Phoebe and I went to Status, a Peruvian restaurant in the Congreso barrio of Buenos Aires.  If you haven’t had Peruvian food yet, drop everything you’re doing and RUN to the nearest Peruvian restaurant.  Everything was so delicious!  Peruvian food has a lot of vegetables which is the complete opposite of Argentine food which is all meat and dulce.  Basically Argentines survive off of empanadas, asado, alfajores, dulce de leche, and quilmes. I have a theory that the 2001 Economic Crisis Argentina suffered was a result of one of the previous foods going into shortage and then everything went to hell (too soon?).  Back to Status;  they had this delicious green sauce that we put on everything we ate and it was actually somewhat spicy! It’s so difficult to find spicy food in Argentina…I had to explain to Cristina what a jalapeño was.  I rest my case.  

I ordered Ceviche, a seafood dish that is practically raw fish that is cooked by the acid of lemon juice.  I was obsessed with the giant pieces of corn, too. ¡Qué rica! 

 

Also in my quest to soak up as much of Buenos Aires as humanly possible, I’ve been hitting up parrillas like none other.  I NEED STEAK ALL THE TIME.  Last Saturday Hannah took us to a parrilla in San Telmo.  I had been looking forward to it all week, I think I had a total of five separate dreams involving steak.  I wonder if there is a psychological disorder concerning obsession with steak because I probably have it.  I’m serious, it’s kind of out of control because in my cinema class we once watched a political film and there was a scene of cows being slaughtered and all I could think was, “Oh my god…I bet it would taste delicious!”  while everyone else was simultaneously vomiting and crying.  If that’s not startling, after that class I went and ate steak for dinner.  THAT IS WHAT I CALL A PROBLEM.  

Desnivel Parrilla is San Telmo is legitimately one of the best and cheapest parillas in the city.  All of this cost us around $12 each.  I want to live there.
 

Last week Buenos Aires celebrated Earth Day with a big festival in Recoleta in La Plaza de Naciones Unidas, famous for the giant metal flower known as the Florais Genérica which opens during the day and closes at night.



Even though I found it kind of ironic that Argentina celebrates Earth Day when none of the buildings even have recycling, it was a great to see people gathered together enjoying organic products, live music, and each other’s company.  A lot of the organic restaurants in the city had stands where you could buy food and I bought and empanada de calabaza (pumpkin, so delicious!) and the most delicious apple I’ve ever eaten in my entire life.  



We ventured off to the kid’s section of the event and saw that there was face painting
so of course we got in on the action.  

Mariposas:


La luna, estrellas, y el sol:


Later we were approached by two guys who were working on an art project for the World Cup called “Yo le doy mis huevos a la selección Argentina” which is a clever play on words because huevos are eggs, but their slogan is ¿Tenés huevos? which is meant to ask “Do you have balls?”  Very funny.  They gave us eggs and ask us to decorate them.  I wrote ¡Dale Argentina! on mine as well as Messi = Díos because that kid is a god running around with mortals and finding amusement in scoring the most insane goals.  

A closer look at my work of art (and my crazy eyes):

 
The next day a bunch of us (Rachel, Mariann, Pheeb, Arielle, Emma, and I) went to La Feria de Matadores at the very end of Capital Federal.  We heard that it was an excellent market so we took an hour bus ride to get there and it was absolutely incredible.  It had the best selection of jewelry, leather goods, food, everything!  It was definitely worth the long bus ride.  Plus, there was a random llama there which instantly made it better than any other market I’ve been to before.

I think his little hat is my favorite part:
 

Emma’s soul-mate and the craftsman of some of the coolest jewelery:


I really love this picture.  Fruit in Argentina is lovely and I’m going to miss being able to walk to fruit stands and pay two pesos for whatever kind of fruit I want.
 

The feria also had a lot of Alfajores Artesanales.  Alfajores…how do I begin to describe what a delightful addition to my life these treats are.  They are two sugar cookies joined together in glorious harmony by a giant mound of dulce the leche and at times they’re covered in chocolate.  I’m totally coming back to the U.S. and you’ll see me walking around and I’ll open my purse and pull out an emergency alfajor because my love for alfajores is almost as bad as my love for carne.  I saw this stand and let out a scream and ran over and kind of scared the owners with my enthusiasm.  


I cannot stress enough how much I absolutely love Buenos Aires.  I feel like everyone around my age is always thinking of what the want to do with their life and where they want to build said life.  I love California because I grew up there, but I’ve know for years that there is no way that I’m living there for the rest of my life.  I really love Boston, but even there I wanted to live in other cities and I wasn’t sure if that was the city where I’d want to live past college.  But now after being in Buenos Aires I know without any doubt in my mind that I want to live here.  I want to graduating and then grab the first flight back here.  I tell people this and I don’t think they believe me, but I guess that shows that they don’t know how hard-headed I am about getting what I want.  Bueno, I now wish to leave you with this ethereal (joke) photograph of me chomping away at an entire cow that is sure to give vegetarians, vegans, animal lovers, and generally all of the human race nightmares.  ¡Buenas Noches!